Top 10k strings from Sceptical 3 (1987)(Delta 4 Software).tzx in <root> / bin / z80 / software / Sinclair Spectrum Collection TOSEC.exe / Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Games / [TZX] /
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3 CRUMPETLINE
2 amusing?","
2 Text and graphics
2 Fergus McNeill","
2 Abstract Concepts","
2 "Piranha's Forthcoming Attractions!","
2 1987 DELTA 4 Software
1 ~Yeah.~","
1 ~What?! Wendy's? As in Wendy's Hamburgers?","
1 ~Sure there's nothing to eat?~","
1 ~Rubber all.~","
1 ~Oh. All right then...~"," ","And so, Colin & Fergus went forth unto","the station and, some hours later, were","sitting down to their burgers....","`"
1 ~Fancy going up to Wendy's?~","
1 ~Bored, bored, bored, bored...~","
1 your loyal support (if you haven't been","
1 you are Irish!"," ","WHAT DO YOU CALL AN IRISHMAN WITH A","UNIVERSITY DEGREE?","A liar.","WHY DID THE IRISH STOP MAKING ICE CUBES?","The old lady who knew the recipe died.","WHY DO IRISH COUNCIL WORKERS HAVE TEA-","BREAKS OF ONLY 10 MINUTES?","Any longer, and they'd need retraining.","WHAT HAS AN IQ OF 130?","Ireland.","DEFINE ""GROSS IGNORANCE"".","144 Irishmen.","`"
1 yes, that's him.""","
1 yellow teeth, greasy hair and BO?","
1 with contributions from Anna, CSB & Jase.","
1 with adventure reviews, features,","
1 will find someone for YOU !","
1 which caters for complex, chained","
1 watch every episode, but why?"," ","
1 there?"""," ","
1 the same piranha competition","
1 sunset horizon as the third edition","
1 streets from mid '87 onwards."," "," ","Watch out for the first titles!","`"
1 straight adventures.",";","`"
1 sounds","
1 shrouded in secrecy."," ","These events have led to some pretty","damn radical changes here, both in policy","and in staff."," ","
1 should therefore be taken seriously.","`"
1 remember those words,
1 relationship you've always wanted."," ","CRUMPETLINE
1 really do hope you've enjoyed it.","
1 quickly, and by the most expedient","
1 push him down with the loo brush...","
1 publication, the ACL dossier is packed","
1 prone to typing eroz@$#!","`"
1 possible means."," "," ","
1 plenty of Anna's fries!"," ","The rest of us were amazed at how much","he put away.","(And if you think that's bad...."," Col was looking hungrilly at passers-"," bye on the way back to Abstract"," Concepts!)"," ","
1 personage."," ","
1 person left who didn't know,
1 partner looks like.","`"
1 one) and find out if the rumour about","
1 of SCEPTICAL draws to a close.","
1 not endorsed by Piranha Software or","
1 mind, so long as I assure them that","
1 me.... there! Put him in."""," ","SPLASH!"," ","
1 me getting married is true....","
1 many other outstanding features."," ","
1 loyal, then we hope you get run over!).","
1 like to advertise in","
1 like one; is that what you're saying?"""," ","
1 like an advert."""," ","
1 leprechauns."," ","The Irish are okay.","So are the Welsh...","`"
1 it!!!","`"
1 is","read by the people who don't care who runs","the country as long as she's got big ti...","`"
1 is read by","the wives of the people who run the","country,
1 is read by","the people who own the country,
1 is read by the","people who think they run the country,","
1 is read by the","people who think it still is,
1 is read by the people","who think the country ought to be run by","another country,
1 is read by the people who","think they ought to run the country,","
1 is read by the people who think","the country ought to be run as it used to","be,
1 is read by the people who run","the country,
1 is currently available for cabaret!"," ","
1 is a horribly marvellous sort of","
1 humorous and set up a new title to cover","
1 hold the door open for you...""","
1 hairstyles wishing to find a scape-goat","
1 forever to get your order in Burger","
1 for details....","`"
1 expressed in ""Bernard The Bunny's Day","
1 enjoy ~playing~ with your ~computer~?","
1 don't push promiscuity, just
1 do for you?"," ","
1 definitely need
1 created for your adventures.","
1 contain any element of truth.",";","`"
1 comprehensive rate card, see page 2742.","`"
1 commands, decoding them automatically.","
1 climaX!
1 can kill anyone.
1 by such trivia should QL to page 103!)",";","`"
1 bunnies (left-wing or otherwise).","`"
1 beyond a joke.
1 be amusing.","
1 articles and competitions."," ","As well as this, the club operates a","excellent helpline service and has a","comprehensive catalogue of discounted","software on offer to its members."," ","
1 are advised to go and boil their heads,","
1 application form on page 115."," "," ","
1 another bumper edition of Sceptical!"," ","{101} The Shocking Truth","{103} Something Completely Different","{130} ABSTRACT CONCEPTS- the background","{150} News Headlines","{180} Adverts","{195} A Piranha Competition!","{200} The End, surely!"," ","+ all the usual controversial mallarky","scattered liberally throughout..."," ","
1 and see....","`"
1 allow characters & problems to be","
1 adverts adverts adverts adverts adverts
1 adventure"" label of DELTA 4."," ","
1 a piranha competition
1 a parody or joke."," ","Please enter the thing!"," "," "," "," ","
1 You will find that deep, satisfying*","
1 You have 2 cows- you sell one","and buy a bull.","
1 You have 2 cows- you give one","to your neighbour.","
1 You have 2 cows- they","take both from you, shoot one, milk the","other, and throw the milk away."," ","
1 You have 2 cows- the government","takes both and shoots you.","
1 You have 2 cows- the government","takes both and sells you the milk.","
1 You have 2 cows- the government","takes both and gives you the milk.","
1 You are advised to SWITCH OFF NOW!!!",";","`"
1 Yogi Bear","A smarter-than-the-average arcade blast","featuring the nutcases of Jellystone","Park."," ","
1 Yet another TRUE STORY from DELTA 4!","It was one of those boring afternoons,","nothing to do and all out of food."," ","
1 Yes? Then you're probably single and you","
1 Written on-location at the Abstract","
1 Worry no more! Now, PLC Ltd brings you..."," "," ""NAUGHTY INVADERS!""","Endless fun as you waggle your joystick","to fire liquid terror at suggestive","sprites.","69 levels- play it straight or bend","the rules- just `2.50 from PLC Ltd!"," ","
1 Who is the coded note from?"," ","
1 Who cares what happened to Lenny Bennett?!","`"
1 Where are they now?"," "," ","
1 Whatever happened to..."," "," "," "," Secret Squirrel?","`"
1 Whatever happened to..."," "," "," "," Paul Daniels' hair?","`"
1 Whatever happened to..."," "," "," "," BIG 'K' Magazine?","`"
1 Whatever happened to..."," "," "," "," Lenny Bennett?"," ","
1 Whatever happened to..."," "," "," "," Evil Kenevil?","`"
1 What kind of gun does ""The Villain"""," carry around?","
1 What is the appeal of this soap? DELTA 4","
1 What is item number 7 on the Nazi"," agenda sheet?","
1 What is carved on the ash trees in"," Central Park?","
1 Wendy's vanishes!"," ","
1 We've decided to keep DELTA 4 games","
1 We're sorry."," ","
1 We aren't going to preach, we
1 WHAT THE PAPERS SAY...","
1 WARNING! Do not read this page if","
1 Under 17/Under 15/Don't care"," ","-------------------------------->8------"," ","Tick as appropriate and return (with SAE","and WITHOUT photo!) to-","
1 Tune in to the next edition (if we do","
1 Trendy Hat","
1 Trap Door 2","More loony Don Priestley happenings in","and out of ""the thing upstairs'""","grim castle.","An all-new arcade adventure that takes","you back to the wierd world of Berk,","Drutt and Boni."," "," ","...and, of course, more from those","nice people at DELTA 4!",";","`"
1 To the question:"," ","
1 Tim Gilberts"," ","*SCEPTICAL 3*","
1 Thought for the day #3.","Is the well-known animal rights group","sincere? Or is it largely just an excuse","for a class war between the working-","class ""rebels without a cause"" and the","upper-class ""tyrants and snobs""....?"," ","Perhaps the world would be a happier","place if we gave our money to the non-","violent RSPCA instead....","`"
1 Thought for the day #2.","It is alleged that the same well-known","animal rights group do not allow....","yes, you've guessed it.... animals are","not allowed on the new carpet."," ","Makes you wonder, doesn't it?","`"
1 Thought for the day #1.","It is alleged that a well-known animal","rights group recently spent goodness","knows how much (but it was plenty!)","dosh on new carpet.","We suppose that all this folding stuff","came in via the collecting tins (you","know, the ones with heart-breaking","pictures of furry animals being tortured","on)."," ","It's marvellous really, isn't it?","Just think how grateful of that carpet","all the suffering animals must be....","`"
1 This is for YOU!","
1 Third ""Muddle Earth"" game being"," discussed by D4S?!"," "," ","
1 They have a serious subject matter and","
1 There's no more just now, though. We","
1 The underlying motives and views","
1 The storyline is so bad that it's","
1 The reasons behind her departure remain","
1 The possibility of seeing something","
1 The acting is so bad that it's","
1 The Times
1 The SHOCKING TRUTH!!!","
1 The Return Of Bernard The Bunny.","It was dark now."," ","All the lights were off in the vetinary","clinic and all was quiet (except for the","howls of the odd tramp who, with the","intent of cadging a bed for the night,","had claimed to be a dog and agreed to","undergo certain ""alterations""!)."," ","In the mens loos, a toilet seat creaked.",";","`"
1 The Questions! (to be answered)"," ","
1 The Professional Adventure Writer","PAW is a state-of-the-art graphic","adventure writing system, which allows","you to design, write and illustrate, fast","machine code adventures with ease.","
1 The Morning Star
1 The Mirror
1 The Irish aren't thick. They don't take","
1 The Guardian
1 The Financial Times
1 The Equipment.","The Big Sleaze was originally written","on a Commodore 128D with an MPS801","printer-simulator, C2N cassette deck,","and GEC new century 14~ RC Colour TV.","Sceptical 3 was originally written on an","exceedingly grey Spectrum +2 with a","battered Multiface One, +2 Joystick,","Interface 1, Microdrive, and Vision QL","Colour Monitor (so there!).","Non-Gilsoft conversions done with lots","of unsafe cables, a CPC 664 and","CPC 6128.","`"
1 The Daily","
1 The Daily Telegraph
1 The Daily Mail
1 The Credits.","*THE BIG SLEAZE*","
1 The Catchy Phrase! (to be completed)"," ","Piranha and DELTA 4 are running this","stupid competition because..........","...................................."," ","
1 The Adventurers Club Ltd"," ","
1 That was an Anti-Socialist story.","
1 TRADE UNIONISM
1 THEY WILL ONLY BRING YOU TROUBLE!","`"
1 THE MORAL!!!"," "," ","Don't take the mickey out of a wierdo","if he's got a big stick.","`"
1 Stuck in ""The Big Sleaze""?","
1 Spectrum system
1 South Glamorgan CF6 8HD."," ","PAW is fully endorsed by DELTA 4.","`"
1 Simple to use multiple process tables","
1 Sick of being lonely just because you","
1 Scorpio","
1 Sagittarius
1 SOCIALISM
1 SHRIEK!!!",";","This, is a very simple competition."," ","All you have to do is answer the ""Big","Sleaze"" questions on the next page and","complete the catchy phrase shown.","Then, send your entry on a large piece","of paper to:"," ","
1 SCEPTICAL? For full details and a","
1 SCEPTICAL3N
1 SCEPTICAL, wait and see.","
1 SCEPTICAL III
1 SCEPTICAL 3
1 Run by the mysterious Anna Popkess,","
1 Roy of the Rovers","Save the team! Win the Cup Final! Can","Roy do it? Arcade adventure with a","great soccer theme."," ","
1 Probably the strongest adventure-only","
1 Possibility of Judith solo"," adventure!"," ","
1 Politician? Journalist?"," ","
1 Pizza Hut"," ","
1 Pisces","`"
1 Piranha"," "," ","
1 Piranha boom DA, 4 Little Essex Street,","
1 Personally,","
1 Pedigree Chum dog food.' they won't","
1 Paving Slab","
1 Pages 191, 192 & 193 are not meant to","
1 Page 142 was flagrantly anti-Irish."," ","
1 PLEASE NOTE:"," ","
1 PEPSI
1 Over 30/Over 50/Over the hill","INCLINATION:
1 Out"" are those of Fergus McNeill and are","
1 Once, Colin saw a boring film..."," ","
1 On the next page it gets horrible!","
1 Officially endorsed by the BUAV.","`"
1 Offensive Weaponary","
1 Nuclear Shelter","
1 No, really, we are."," ","
1 Next time? Well, we might do one more","
1 News items reported do not necessarily","
1 NEWS HEADLINES","
1 N$="100 ":
1 More follows...":
1 Meanwhile, 1426.125 Miles Away....","Bernard the Bunny opened his eyes.","He was, he decided, on a beach. But it","wasn't a pretty, sandy beach, covered","in nubile young females with only-just-","sprayed-on bikinis running about."," ","The whole beach was covered in something","Bernard knew would have to be edited","out if it was mentioned in the text."," ","""Sounds like 'grit'."" he thought brownly","to the world in general and the editor","in particular...."," ","
1 Male/Female/Please","AGE:
1 Maidstone, Kent.","`"
1 Macmillan Ltd."," ","
1 MORE SHOCKING TRUTH!!!","As well as the regular crowd- Fergus,","Jason, ""SPUD"" and Colin, we now have in","our ranks Stephanie Stranger. Straight","out of Dynasty, she is co-writing a","series of adventures and is usually to","be found, huddled over the 8256 (one day,","maybe we'll find out what exactly she's","been typing all this time!)."," ","
1 Look after yourselves, and Goodbye!"," ","
1 London WC2R 3LF."," ","The first 10 (yes, ten!) correct entries","received will win a... wait for it...","yes, a... CUDDLY PIRANHA! (""Gasp!"")","`"
1 Little Known Facts #57437"," ","People who smoke Silk Cut and Low Tar","Superkings are capable of smoking real","cigarettes as well!","`"
1 Large Fries","One
1 LINCOLN U
1 King. They're not a bunch of deformed","
1 Just in case you're the one
1 Judith Child has left DELTA 4 Software.","
1 Judge Death","A 2000AD blast'em up. Play Judge","Anderson in a desperate bid to save","Megacity from the horrors of the Dark","Judges."," ","
1 Jim Douglas"," ","
1 Jason Somerville","
1 It's been tame so far.","
1 It provides a powerful sentance parser","
1 Is it-"," ","
1 Includes versatile graphics editor and","
1 Immitation Apple 2GS (for added"," realism, paint the ZX81 white)","`"
1 Hunt sabbing is bad news for","
1 Horrorscopes!","Are you one of those people?","You know, the ones who look at their","stars and go,"," ","
1 Hetero/Homo/Bi/Desperate","HOBBIES:
1 Help is at hand!"," ","Hints:","The Statue of Liberty is situated on","Liberty Island. The only way there is","via a ferry from Battery Park on the","mainland."," ","New York Public Library is in Central","Manhattan."," ","The shortest solution of the game will","only require loading each part once.","The sequence of parts is 1 >> 3 >> 2!","`"
1 Gunboat","To hell and back on the pitching deck of","your high-speed gunboat. A big strategy","arcade game.",";","`"
1 Great Sayings Of The Rich & Famous."," ""Nyah, nyah, nyah nyah, nyah!""","`"
1 Great Sayings Of Our Time.","""You can lead a horse to water but you"," can't make it drink (unless you've been"," dehydrating it for a couple of weeks"," before-hand).""","`"
1 Great Sayings Of Our Time.","""When people get bored, they get"," depressed."," When people get depressed, they eat."""," "," ","
1 Great Sayings Of Our Time.","""A bird in the hand is worth two in the"," bush (unless you happen to be holding a"," common or garden sparrow and the bush"," contains a couple of live Dodos).""","`"
1 Great Sayings Of Our Time.","""@#$% off.""","`"
1 Grateful to Gertrude","If you have a problem, why not write to","Granny Gertrude, your friendly computer","game agony aunt?"," ","All she can do is publish your letter,","laugh, and make an exhibition of you","in front of several thousand people..."," ","Send your problem, name, address, phone","number, worst photo, etc. to-"," ","
1 Granny Gertrude, PO BOX 73,","
1 Govnmt WARNING! Flacidware makes you","
1 Gilsoft, 2 Park Crescent, Barry,","
1 Gilsoft"," ","
1 Gertrude replies:","Good. Now don't write to me again!","`"
1 Gertrude replies-","You poor boy! Your problem is a sad one","that is difficult to live with.","My advice: put off worrying about it for","a few years. If you're still 5 then,","it's time to start worrying for real!","`"
1 Gertrude replies-","Well, at least you're never alone with","schizophrenia!","My advice: find a therapy group that","can run fast.","`"
1 Gertrude replies-","So you've got a spot. So what?! With","the sort of blokes you get in Bromley,","you're better off single!","My advice: stay home an watch TV.","`"
1 GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
1 Further Tales Of Bernard The Bunny.","At the expensive vetinary clinic, the","doctor with the suspiciously white mask","over his face looked up from the small","furry form of Bernard the bunny (who","had just been attacked by the BUAV)","and said,","""At last, oh thank goodness!""","""You mean...?"" whispered the nurse.","""Yes!"" smiled the doctor, ""He's dead.""","`"
1 Frisbee","
1 For details, write to:","The Adventurers Club Ltd.","64c Menelik Road,","London NW2 3RH.","`"
1 Food and drink
1 Flower pressing/Watching TV","RELIGION:
1 Fergus.","`"
1 Fergus McNeill"," ","*Other Vital Things*","
1 Fed up of people who find you dull?","
1 Fear not!","
1 End Of Serious Stuff."," ","On with SCEPTICAL 3!","`"
1 Double Whopper Cheese Burgers,","One
1 Danish Pastry","Two
1 DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH COWS","
1 DELTA 4 spring surprise raid on"," Magnetic Scrolls!"," ","
1 DELTA 4 Software - April 1987","`"
1 Cuddly Toy","
1 Copyright (c) 1987 DELTA 4 Software.","`"
1 Conversions
1 Concepts building, Southampton SO1.","`"
1 Commodore system
1 Commie/MR Loony/NF/Other","AGE TO MEET:
1 Colin ""CSB"" Buckett","
1 Coffee Table","
1 Chocolate Shakes","And
1 Capricorn","
1 Cannibalism at D4S? Tune in next week","
1 CRUMPETLINE, PO BOX 73, MAIDSTONE, KENT.","`"
1 COMMUNISM
1 CAPITALISM
1 Burger King","
1 Burger King was finished!","`"
1 Buddhist/C of E/Moonie/Other","POLITICAL PARTY:
1 Bernard The Bunny's Funeral.","
1 Bernard The Bunny's Day Out.","That night, when it was dark, Bernard","the bunny took 2 packets of his most","specially favourite biscuits, and put","them into his little suitcase.","He gave the servants a week off and left","a clear, concise note for the milkman."," ","Then, out under the stars for the first","time since he had been a very small","bunny, Bernard set off on his adventure.","Yorkshire was a long way for one bunny","to travel.",";","`"
1 Bernard The Bunny's Day Out.","In a hole, in the ground, there lived a","bunny. Not an ordinary bunny, such as","you or I might see in a field dying of","myxomatosis; no, this was a really gross,","well looked-after bunny.","Bernard lived in a modern hutch, leading","an upper class life in a middle class","area."," ","The trouble was... he was a Communist!"," ","Bernard knew as well as any bunny, that","there wasn't much call for Red rabbits.","So what was he to do?",";","`"
1 Bernard The Bunny's Day Out.","Bernard was half way to the station when","he realized that he'd left his credit","cards at home.","""Drat."" he said (actually, he said","something else, but this is a 'nice'","story and we can't print certain words).","Bernard turned to go home when suddenly,","he heard a ruccuss."," ","The ruccuss arrived."," ","It was a fox, grinning evilly. The fox","was followed by a group of animal rights","supporters, all yelling,","""Save the foxes!""","They, Bernard noted, constituted the","larger proportion of the ruccuss.",";","`"
1 Bernard The Bunny's Day Out.","Being a Commie was difficult for a well-","to-do rabbit.","Instead of eating biscuits all day, he","should be a coal miner or something,","sleeping in a pile of rabbitpoo, eating","black pudding or grass or whatever it","was they ate up in Yorkshire (where, he","supposed, all the working class rabbits","must live)."," ","""I will go to Yorkshire!"" Bernard thought,","""There, I can be a proper Communist"," rabbit.""",";","`"
1 Bernard The Bunny's Day Out.","""It's eating time, fans!"" philosophized","the fox as he picked up Bernard the","bunny and began to savage him.","""Goodness!"" thought Bernard (okay, he","actually didn't phrase it quite like","that!) as he pulled his .44 Magnum and","blew the fox's head clean off."," ","""Murderer!"" roared the animal rights","crowd, who rushed over and stamped on","Bernard the bunny."," ","""Bloomin' BUAV!"" thought Bernard."," ","
1 Bernard The Bunny - Epilogue.","That night, Bernard the Bunny slept","well. He was so cosy in his warm hutch","that he never heard the big red fire-","engine go roaring up the road with its","shiny brass bell ringing."," ","Deep under a pile of comfy straw,","Bernard the Bunny stirred and thought,","""From now on, it's Capitalism for me!"""," "," THE END."," "," ","
1 Bed for small persons","
1 Back again, scarred but smiling, in","
1 Ash Tray","
1 As well as being generally stylish, he","
1 As in Cambridge Circus? As in LONDON?!~","
1 Are there any Wendy's left? We hope so!","`"
1 Apple Pie","One
1 Any irate women with crew cuts or hippy","
1 Another time, another place, eh?","
1 Annoyed that girls dislike your spots,","
1 And the new policy? Well, read on","
1 And Now For Something Completely Irish","
1 Amstrad system
1 All singing, all dancing, Jim Douglas","
1 All of the above?","`"
1 Again, it's been fun, and we appreciate","
1 Advertisers Index"," ","
1 Accountant? Systems Analyst? Bank Clerk?","
1 Abstract Concepts is the new ""serious","
1 APOLOGY","
1 AND NOW...
1 AIDS is not a 'Gay' disease, it
1 AC adventures will start hitting the","
1 ABRAHAM
1 A sad, red glow spreads across the","
1 A GUIDE TO POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY!","
1 <<<Rules on page 195.","`"
1 ;''"""Welcome to Sceptical 3.""":
1 ;'"Enter Current Time:":
1 ;"SCEPTICAL 3
1 8 8@@
1 6 Days & 47 cans of Rite Gard Later...","Bernard was outside the HQ of the local","animal rights group (he had been before,","on display as a ""cute"" helpless animal).","It had taken him some time to work out","why people would stop for a hitch-hiking","rabbit, but drive away when he got","within sniffing distance of the car.","But the deodorant had solved that","problem."," ","Pondering these things, Bernard the","Bunny lit the petrol bomb and posted it","through the animal rights HQ letterbox."," ","""Liberate that!"" he thought, and","went home.",";","`"
1 *As long as you don't mind what your","
1 *** ~LOOK, BOYS!~ ***","
1 *** ~GIRLS~ ***","Have NOTHING to do with any boy who enjoys","Flacidware!"," "," ","
1 *** INTERMISSION ***","`"
1 * SCEPTICAL 3 - Main Index *","
1 (really!)","`"
1 (You'll probably catch something fearful!)","`"
1 (Reasonable rates, no cash-in-hand","
1 (People who don't wish to be bored","
1 "virgo august 24 - september 23","The current status of your Cosmic","whatnot indicates an on-coming period","of excessively hypochondriacal (even","for you!) tendancies."," ","This week shows distinct social","possibilities (this would be good if","you ever got any friends!)."," ","Mars exerts a strong influence and this","is symbolized by your reading","SCEPTICAL 3.","`"
1 "taurus april 21 - may 21","Full of bull today, you should play it","close to your chest for the rest of the","week (so friends can't see what a","rubbish hand you're holding in the","great card game of social survival!)."," ","
1 "scorpio october 24 - november 22","Screw business friends for everything","they've got while Mercury pulls a fast","one on Saturn this week."," ","Homicide plans may go astray in the","next few days, but perhaps a windfall","will accompany this (unless friends","cotton on to your various schemes and","lynch you first!).","`"
1 "sagittarius november 23 - december 22","Today (as always) is as good a day as","any to try and wheedle cash or valuables","out of family and friends."," ","Don't overdo the sob-story too much","this week, as Mercury colliding with","Saturn emphasizes a possibility on your","part to be more excessive than usual!","`"
1 "pisces february 20 - march 20","Nervous breakdowns this week may slow","you down a bit, but try not to let that","get to you."," ","News from overseas probably has little","relevance."," ","All in all, a very similair outlook","to last week.","`"
1 "libra september 24 - october 23","Indecision may or may not cause problems","this week."," ","Perhaps you should spend more time with","family and friends..."," ","...but then again, maybe not....","`"
1 "leo july 24 - august 23","Jupiter is rising towards Mars, going","via the moon. But this has nothing to do","with you, Leos."," ","Your pretentious nature is beginning to","get the better of you again, so be","careful not to rile your partner","(unless your mate is a full-length"," mirror, as is common with your star"," sign!).","`"
1 "gemini may 22 - june 21","Schizophrenia will prey heavilly on your","mind(s) today as Mars begins its trial","separation from the moon.","Criminal tendancies should be beaten","into submission or business friendships","could be soured."," ","Be careful whilst blowing your nose","this week!","`"
1 "capricorn december 23 - january 20","Today's stars look bad, butt don't let","personal problems get your goat!"," ","Be careful to keep the private life","hidden underneath your work image and","things will go comfortably from bad to","worse.","`"
1 "cancer june 22 - july 23","Venus passing Uranus signals it's time","to re-stock your wardrobe.","Throw out those flares and platform","shoes, and get something from Oxfam."," ","A personal crisis this week may","interfere with your brown-nosing at work","but struggle on and you may just","succeed.","`"
1 "aries march 21 - april 20","Things look great for you just now.","Today should see you using your computer","extensively. Serious pressure from home","and work may lead to your axe-murdering","friends if you are not careful.","You may meet a tall dark stranger but","don't worry if you don't.","`"
1 "aquarius january 21 - february 19","Buy another Herbal Speedstick this week","to keep BO insecurity at bay.","Good astral vibes emanate from the","health food shop this week, but Jupiter","hovering round Uranus should be taken","as a serious warning with regard to","the Harvest Pie (if you see what we're","getting at!).","`"
1 "adverts adverts adverts adverts adverts","
1 "Wendy's Vanishes!!!","It wasn't a dark and stormy night but","it was a fairly blustery afternoon and","already it had been a long day.","Leading a small delegation from DELTA 4,","Fergus emerged from Leicester Square","tube station and called a halt.","""Lo!"" he said, pointing towards","Cambridge Circus.","The delegation shuffled north.","Approaching the site of Wendy's, the","thought of food reared in their minds.","""They've redecorated the place."" said","Fergus, looking through the window."," ","Then, they noticed. It was a Pizza Hut!"," ","
1 "Verilly & Suchlike","And lo, it cameth also to pass that","Borriss (or Cedric, depending on how","thou lookest at these things) was sore","displeased and mightilly miffed off.","And he went and gottethed his great","stick (the one, yea, with all the","nasty pointed bits on!).","And Borriss came unto Peter (or Mary,","but we hath been into that before) and","smote him grievously about the head","saying,","""Sit on this, you low life mother!""",";","`"
1 "The Total!","Two
1 "The Adventurers Club Ltd","
1 "TOTALLY AWESOME nb.","The competition on pages 195 & 196 is","legitimate, genwin, straight up(!), etc."," ","It is
1 "THE END.","
1 "Possible Judith Solo Adventure?!","We never see her these days, but rumour","has it that the ex-DELTA 4 rebel is","planning to unleash a totally original","concept in adventures onto you, the","unsuspecting public."," ","
1 "Piranha at the PCW Show!","The 1987 PCW Show takes place at","Olympia 23-27th September."," ","Piranha will have a stand twice the","size of last year's and we'd like to","meet all our friends at this year's show","(our enemies will be fed to the real","Piranhas!)."," ","Please visit us on stand 1617 and see","our latest games.","`"
1 "Piranha announces... ""FLUNKY""!","Another riot of arcade madness from Don","Priestley. Here's your chance to be a","real creepy crawly Flunky in Buck","House. Meet the Royals and try to do","their bidding in the wierdest version","of the Palace you can imagine.","A big game - if ever you complete it","you'll get a right Royal reward!"," ","On the Spectrum in September."," CBM 64 October."," Amstrad October."," ","Cassette versions `9.95.",";","`"
1 "Piranha Jokes (?)","Q. Why did the Piranha cross the road?","A. It's teeth were in the chicken's leg!"," ","Q. What do you call a Piranha in your"," bath?","A. Sir!"," ","Q. How do Piranhas make love?","A. They don't. They make War!"," ","Q. Why did the Piranha buy a computer?","A. For a quick byte!"," ","Please send any other good (clean)","Piranha jokes to Hellen Holland at","Piranha, 4 Little Essex Street,","London WC2R 3LF.","`"
1 "No, really, this time we mean it!","Sorry, we're not really anti-Irish!","(I know several people from Ireland"," and they're all very nice.)"," "," ","Sorry!","`"
1 "NB!","Please note that the DELTA 4 address","listed on page 154 is NOT a source","of free-","posters,","hint-sheets,","5.25 inch disks,","photographs,","pirate software,","computers,","or any of the other things you lot keep","writing in for!"," ","
1 "NB!","DELTA 4 had nothing to do with page 187!","`"
1 "Jim ""TOTALLY AWESOME"" Douglas","
1 "Hark & Lo (+ other such mallarky)!","And verily, it did cometh to pass, that","Borriss who is called Cedric, didst","journey to his cousin Peter who is","called Mary.","And when he gottest there, he verily spake","thus, saying unto Peter,","""Mary, I beseach thee, how art thou?""","And Peter replied unto him, saying,","""Mary? Who the hell d'ya think you're"," talking to?! Just 'cos I got invited"," to a drag party and you didn't! Go and"," play in the road!""",";","`"
1 "Fine Indian Cuisine?","Come to the Mucky Tandoori restaurant,","35 Wyndham Court, Southampton (just","behind the gasworks)."," ","All the taste and atmosphere you could","want- why not try our exciting new","Elephant Curry? (Trunk Pasanda extra)."," ","Free water for all customers.","Fire extinguishers and ample toilet","facilities on-site."," ","Health Inspectors by appointment only.","`"
1 "DELTA 4 Raid Maggot Rolls!","Early morning."," ","Wandering between the towering height","of office blocks near London Bridge","station."," ","DELTA 4 entered the sacred portals of","of those Pawn-o-graphic persons,","Magnetic Scrolls."," ","Philosophizing with Anita, drinking","lots of coffee, smoking copious numbers","of cigarettes; all in all, a very","pleasant day out.","`"
1 "CRUMPETLINE","-------------------------------->8------","Yes, I'm desperate for a date."," ","SEX:
1 "CRUMPETLINE","
1 "CLUES.","
1 "CLUES contd.","More Hints:","Remember, ""The Big Sleaze"" handles more","than the standard verb+noun input.","It may often be necessary to be more","specific with your commands."," ","Be careful around Central Park after","dark...","`"
1 "Be It Ever So Horrible!","It was a dark and stormy night (again).","Colin, Jase, Anna and Fergus went to","laugh at ""Room With A View"".","Afterwards, they crossed the road to","ransack Burger King, Fergus having been","delegated to pay (as he was the only","one possessed of any dosh)."," ","
1 "Be It Ever So Ever So Horrible!","Paddy (or whatever his name was, Irish","twit!) eventually rustled up our order.","We then sat down.","Colin was soon left with half a double","Whopper cheese. A second later....","...it was gone!","""What did he do with it?!"" asked Anna,","alarmed. Colin just smiled (a fearsome,","ketchup-covered sight!)",";","`"
1 "AIDS"''"Sure, you've heard all the jokesabout it, perhaps some were evenours, but this is now getting
1 "A return to ""Muddle Earth""?!!!","""Oh my gosh, NO!!!"" we hear you cry as","you reach for your cyanide pills."," ","DELTA 4 are only *considering* the","possibility of doing another follow-up","to ""Bored Of The Rings"" and ""The","Boggit"".","Would all you out there in computerland","like that?","Write and tell us."," ","Write to-","DELTA 4, Room 101, The Shieling,","New Road, Swanmore, Hants SO3 2PE.","`"
1 "10 Exciting Uses For A
1 "#","Part Two.","`"
1 "#","End Of Part One.","`"
1 ""Yo bleedin' ho!"" -Ed.",";","`"
1 ""Why not? After you, doctor....","`"
1 ""What? So if I go on BBC1 and say 'Buy","
1 ""That's it, in here. Hang on and I'll","
1 ""Thanks.""","
1 ""So there!""","`"
1 ""SCEPTICAL 3"" Written by Fergus McNeill,","
1 ""Right, got him? Okay. Now, just let","
1 ""Pull the chain, nurse."""," ","CLANK... FLUSH!"," ","
1 ""Over the road for a drink?""","
1 ""Oooh, Mavis! Look, that's exactly right","
1 ""Oh, shut up!""","`"
1 ""Nah, it's not page 180 yet."""," ","
1 ""It just
1 ""I like that. Very eloquent."" -Ed."," ","""Thanks!"""," ","Beware of making hasty decisions in","your love-life!","`"
1 ""He's Back!""
1 ""DON'T DIE OF IGNORANCE!""":
1 ""Bye bye, Bernard! Doctor he's stuck,","
1 ""But that was an advert."""," ","
1 ""'ere, was that an advert I just seen","
1 """Ha!""","
1 """EASTENDERS""","
1 " ","Dear Granny Gertrude,","This is now the second letter I have","written to you and I'm really desperate!","I have a spot on my behind. I have had","this condition for 1.2 days now, and I","don't know what to do!","What if, in years to come, I get a","boyfriend. I could never let him see","me in a swim suit or he would notice","my spot!","Help me please!","Patty Walsdel, 23 Ashview Terrace,","Bromley, London."," ","
1 " ","Dear Granny Gertrude,","It's me again from Bromley, Patty.","I didn't like your advice the last time","because there are some really nice","blokes in Bromley.","As you were so useless, I'm going to","kill myse.... AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"," "," "," ","
1 " ","Dear Granny Gertrude,","I am a crazed, sadistic, schizophrenic","psychopath. Last week, I axe murdered","my therapy group, and now I'm lonely.","Can you help me?","Basil... no, Simon Tyler, 12 Seg Point,","Wandsworth, London."," ","
1 " ","Dear Granny Gertrude,","I am 5. Can you help me?!","Jamie, Jamie's House, Bristol."," ","
1 " "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," "," ","
1 what it says 'ere!"""," ","If so, then check out your DELTA 4","Horrorscope..."," ","
1 offers refused!)","`"
1 it's not an advert, it just
1 You thought that page 200 was the last","
1 WARNING ","
1 1987 DELTA 4"'"v1.53 101 Pages Free +Multikeys"''"Enter Today's Date:"
1 adverts adverts adverts adverts adverts m
1 Bernard The Bunny returns on page 176!","`"
1 page, didn't you? No? Oh well...."," ","
1 ""A-Game-Which-Is-As-Yet-Untitled""","
1 horrible happen to Lofty?","
1 Definitely
1 DELTA 4 will return in","
1 Live long and prosper!"," "," ","
1 with Level 9."," "," ","
1 Musical Youth?","`"
1 completely different...","`"
1 And now for something","
1 ""Personally, I don't","
1 believe a word of it!""","`"